How you experience the holidays is completely up to you. Really. 

The key is to know yourself and to know how you tend to react to the holidays; to know the things about the season that affect you negatively, and to manage them; to practice over-the-top self-care and self love; and to make sure you have many, many joyful moments. In short, the key is to have a "December Strategy." 

Here is an easy strategy for you to try on. This strategy is not new nor ground breaking, but perhaps it is simple enough to stick in your mind and help you be in charge of your December. 

Most of the time this month, focus on one of two ideas: 

• Nourish yourself. 
• Do things the easy, enjoyable way.

• Spend time with people who nourish and nurture you. Nurture and nourish them in return. 
• Engage in extraordinary self care in order to be full and more available to others: massage, naps, walks, good meals, a bath, a trip to the gym, etc. 
• Have at least two parties or get-togethers with close friends. 
• Spend quiet time alone to decompress, re-energize, and savor the season. 
• Do something for the pure joy of it; read a good book, light candles, eat chocolate, listen to music, etc. 
• Remember the people you love and why you're giving gifts to them. Reconnect. 
• Play, play, play; let the kid in you enjoy the holidays. 
• Volunteer or donate money. You will feel good contributing. 
• Listen to lots of music to get in the spirit; enjoy lots of comedy to stay in the spirit. 
• Make a pact with a friend to be each other's support through the holidays; share and get support frequently. 
• Don't buy into anyone telling you where you should be in your life or who you should be with. 
• Read validating, inspiring material to keep re-reminding yourself you are ok. 
• Make it your holiday season. Make it what you want it to be. Make it joyful.

• Go only to the parties you want to. Leave parties early that aren't fun. 
• Worry less about what people think of you or if they are judging you. Focus on reconnecting with people instead. 
• If there are questions you dread to be asked, such as "what is happening with your relationship," or "why are you single," think of a reply ahead of time. Make it gentle and authentic, yet as casual as you want it to be. A simple "I don't know" can work wonders! 
• Purchase all gifts by early December at one or two places, and perhaps online. 
• If shopping needs to be done in a retail store, make it a fun adventure. Buy yourself something too, try something on, play, sing, etc. 
• Never give gifts out of obligation. Give out of love. It makes for a shorter Christmas list. 
• Ask for a Christmas want list; it's easier to make someone happy if they receive what they wanted. 
• Put aside a party-going budget -- $20 to $25 per party -- and use this budget to purchase whatever the hosts want brought in terms of food or drink. This saves time on cooking. 
• Whatever the stressor, strategize about it ahead of time and come up with a solution.

While it's possible to improve your ability to attract a partner or improve your current relationship just by reading this newsletter, you'll probably find it a bit easier and more
fun if you have me as your coach to help you along. Visit the Coaching Services section of our site now to find out more.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!" 
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